The Gospel vs. Feminism- FALSE DICHOTOMY

Last night, a group of friends and I were having dinner, when my friends brought up a previous conversation they had over feminism and the gospel. From what I understood, someone said something negative about feminism, and the two females there defended it, and after going back and forth a bit, one guy finally made the statement that if the gospel was preached to everyone, there wouldn't be a need for feminism.

Well that shut the conversation up because who was going to argue against the gospel of Jesus Christ? (They were all practicing Mormons) Plus, it made sense, right? After all, feminism was/ is a reaction to patriarchal oppression, and so if ideally everyone lived the gospel as they should, there wouldn't be any form of bullying, oppression and discrimination. Everyone would treat each other kindly and as equals, thus there wouldn't be a need for feminism.

Yet, something didn't sit quite right to me. As I pondered this issue, I finally realized what didn't feel right-- it was this dichotomy that feminism is antithetical to the gospel of Jesus Christ. I don't think my friends intentionally set up this dichotomy, and I don't think they even realized that they did, but essentially it pitted feminism against the gospel. Because if everyone had and lived the gospel, we wouldn't need feminism.

And this was what I disagreed with because to me, THE GOSPEL IS ABOUT FEMINISM, and you can't separate the two. I am a feminist because I am a Mormon. I'm not a feminist "despite"/ "in spite of" being a Mormon. Rather, living the gospel of Jesus Christ propels me to be a feminist. I suspect that a lot of members, male and female, would come to a consciousness of their own feminism if
1) the term "feminism" hadn't been monopolized and politicized by Western liberal feminists
2) if the Ordain Women fiasco hadn't happened, smearing the term "feminism"
3) if we would, once and for all, eradicate all misinformation that feminism = anti-male. This leads many to believe that feminists = anti-priesthood leaders = anti-prophet and apostles = unfaithful members. UNTRUE

To me, if everyone had and lived the gospel of Jesus Christ according to the very highest standards, I think a lot more people would realize that they too are feminists. Of course, there are many definitions of "feminism" and "feminists" but at a very basic level, a feminist is one who seeks for the equality of genders in a societal system that has created and erected artificial barriers that suppress women unfairly below men solely because of her gender.
Feminists fight against such barriers-- and isn't this what the gospel of Jesus Christ is partly about? Breaking down artificial barriers and prejudices, and treating everyone as equals and with kindness?

I have always remembered what I read in James E. Talmage's Jesus the Christ so many years ago while on my mission:

"The world's greatest champion of woman and womanhood is Jesus Christ."

Jesus Christ lived in a patriarchal society where women were considered and treated as inferior to men. Yet, the Bible is filled with stories of Him breaking misogynistic social barriers to show those around him that women mattered, and that women deserved to be treated with compassion and respect, equal to that shown to the men. If Christ did not have the courage to do so, how different would the Bible be? Just imagine, what if we read that Jesus Christ

• Was rude to his mother, and instead of listening to her pleadings for his help at the wedding in Cana to solve the problem of the shortage of wine, told her instead, "Woman, you should have planned better." 
• Even at His darkest hour while hanging on the cross, ignored his mother's desperation and heartsickness, and abandoned her to fend for herself, even though he knew that John the disciple was capable of taking care of her.   
• In the name of cold, hard "justice," allowed the stoning of the woman caught in adultery
• Refused to heal the woman who secretly touched his garment.
• Rebuffed Mary and Martha's efforts to prepare a meal for him, and wouldn't even enter their home.
• Dismissed Mary and Martha's pleas to raise their brother from the dead. 

Or, what if we imagined the Four Books of the Gospels without the stories of Christ treating women with love, kindness and patience. The Bible would then become a guide on how Jesus treated the men, but it would be silent on how to view and treat women. I shudder to think of how later Christians might have taken this (already there is so much debate about Paul's words that women should not speak in church...).

This is why I believe that the gospel cannot exist without feminism. It wouldn't be the gospel if  Christ didn't show the ultimate example of how to treat those who were considered inferior. It is precisely because Christ was such a champion of woman, and so revolutionary for his time, that the gospel resonates and has so much power with people across space and time. I'm not saying that Jesus Christ was a feminist- "feminist" and 'feminism" are terms of our age, and I can't rewind time and ask Christ if He considers himself a feminist. However, I stand by my belief that the gospel teaches feminist principles.

I have listed other examples of how the gospel is feminist in nature in one of my earlier posts. There is also another BYU professor, Valerie Hudson, who also wrote this article back in 2010 explaining why feminism led her to join the LDS Church.

Hence, it's not that there wouldn't be a need for feminism if everyone knew about and lived the gospel in the most ideal way. On the contrary, feminism would thrive wherever the gospel was spread to because it teaches men to love, respect and treat females with kindness in appropriate ways (and vice-versa).

Sorry, but I'm standing with my female friends in this debate.

Motherhood Matters- HECK YES!!!

I loved this article, written by April Perry from Power of Moms, that was just published in the Deseret News on September 3, 2014. In fact, I love it so much, I'm re-publishing excerpts here (FULL ARTICLE HERE) because it has such a vital message to all mothers everywhere. Let me know what you think! 

Motherhood Matters: 6 reasons to never give up on motherhood

by April Powers

....

Never, never, never give up.

So simple, really. But that phrase has come back to me time and again, and today, I feel impressed to share it.

All of us have challenging times in our lives, and there are varying ways we might choose to give up.

Sometimes mothers mentally check out — and just stop trying. Giving up might mean permanently walking out on the family — thinking that everyone would be better off if Mom weren't there. In some heartbreaking cases, "giving up" means suicide, and children are left to fend for themselves — or make do with a new guardian who tries to take Mom's place. I know I don't fully understand the feelings that would lead to such an extreme, but I can empathize with the perspective a friend shared: "Death is easier than what I am living right now."

I'm not sure who is going to read this post, but if you have ever felt like giving up on motherhood, here are six reasons to stay strong:

1. We are not alone.

Every mother (even if she looks totally put together) has discouraging times.

We might need to look deeper and get past all the talk about room remodels, vacations and parties, but if we look carefully (and encourage honesty), we'll see that everyone else is just as human as we are.

Finding a trusted group of friends and reaching out to other moms has literally been a lifesaver for many, many women. 

...

Sometimes we just need to open up and get talking in order to find the friends we need. [And can I say this has helped me as I've opened myself and talked to friends and fellow grad students about the struggles of grad school? I  truly believe sharing, even just verbal sharing, makes burdens lighter.]

2. Children would rather have an imperfect mom who is struggling to be better than no mom at all.

Deep down we all know this, but we need to remember it — and really believe it.

I heard a story about a young man who went to live with his extended family after his mother took her own life. At his first back-to-school night, hundreds of miles away from his former life, he paused outside the doorway of his classroom and quietly said to his aunt, "Can you please just tell my teacher that you're my mom?"

This story touches my heart every time I think about it...

And I think about my children, who see me at my very worst, but love me anyway. They are so quick to forgive.

I never want my little ones to have to explain to anyone why I gave up. So I won't. I just won't give up.

3. There is beauty all around us. We just need to train ourselves to see it.

I have the opportunity to speak with mothers all around the world, and I know this life doesn't always feel beautiful.

What's beautiful about being so exhausted that you can't even get everyone out of the house? How is it beautiful when your bank account has $3.23, and it's three days until the next paycheck? Where is the beauty in children arguing over who left the milk on the counter?

It's beautiful because it's yours. Because it's real. And because it's full of potential.

Think of a lump of clay, a blank canvas, that seed covered with dirt. What about the bare maple tree in winter? Or the darkest part of the night?

It's about perspective and potential.

The way we enable ourselves to see that beauty is by polishing the lenses through which we see the world. And that's done by taking care of ourselves.

When we get away occasionally with friends, regularly make time to exercise well, eat food that fuels us, get enough rest, and remember we're people, the world looks better. (Click here for an article about getting an extra hour of quiet time each day.)

Is it hard to do these things? You bet. But we do it because it transforms our perspective on life.

4. We have a purpose that's uniquely ours.

...

[Story of author miraculously walking away, completely unharmed, after being ran over by a truck with a camper when she was only 18 months old!]

I found this website about children whose lives have been lost in back-over incidents, and not a day goes by that I don't think about my second chance.

Perhaps that's part of why I'm so purpose-driven — because I came so close to losing this opportunity to live a full life.

But here's the thing, it is so easy to get confused about our purposes. We start thinking we have to look a certain way, dress a certain way and have what everyone else has. We read an amazing blog and yearn to replicate what we see. We get frustrated with our children for "getting in our way." I have to remind myself daily to cling to my purpose — not to get distracted by the siren call of all those "extras" that look so appealing.

5. This life isn't just about us.

I have this as a rotating image on my screen saver:

...

Some days are long and stressful, and we have to work frantically just to keep up, but during those times, we can remember that our work, whether appreciated or not, is sustaining the lives of our children. That is noble. That is beautiful.

6. Today is not forever.

My friend told me the story of a mother who took a bath with her newborn baby one morning. I won't elaborate on the details, but the baby made an explosive mess, and the mother had to yell for her husband to bring a towel and help her get cleaned up. We've all had those really gross moments.

But in the midst of the yuck, she heard a little voice in her head say, "Today is not forever."

Fast-forward a couple of hours, and that same mom was sitting on the couch with her preschool son, who was climbing on her back and laughing while she tickled his legs. His arms wrapped tight around her neck, and smiles covered their faces as they enjoyed the moment.

Then she heard that same voice, reminding her of the same truth, "Today is not forever."

Whatever it is that we're cherishing at the moment — or praying we can simply overcome — our lives won't always be the way they are now.

We have choices and power to change in areas where we are weak. And we have the fortitude to get through those days that feel impossible.

...

It's my hope that each of us can accept the simple challenge to never give up on this beautiful life.

This article is courtesy of Power of Moms, an online gathering place for deliberate mothers.

Feminism is NOT hyper-sexualization

At the most recent MTV Video Music Awards (VMA), Beyonce performed a 16-minute medley of her songs. At the 10th minute, the entire stage was dimmed, and these words

"We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are. We teach girls to shrink themselves, make themselves smaller. We say to girls, you can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful, otherwise you will threaten the man. Feminist (the person who believes in the social, political and economic equality of the sexes)."

flashed across the screen.

Feminists in America rejoiced, because as an article in Time magazine wrote, "Beyonce's brand of empowerment isn't perfect, but her VMA performace on Sunday accomplished what activists could not: She took feminism to the masses."

Beyonce did bring feminism to the masses, but in reality, I'm really really really confused by her performance. I like the words that flashed across the screen, but like Mollie Hemmingway who wrote THIS POST for The Federalist, and THIS ARTICLE from the UK Independent, the rest of the performance left me wondering how it contributed to feminism. Her music was filled with lyrics about sex and b**ches and getting drunk and more sex; her dance moves included spreading her legs, grinding her booty (and she has a really awesome booty if I may say- is this objectifying her? If yes, then wasn't that the point of her costume and performance for us to admire her body?), and dancing alongside a team of scantily-clad backup dancers.

And while Beyonce was participating in this hyper-sexualized performance, her young daughter was sitting in the audience, watching her mom's not-child-appropriate performance.

Is this feminism?

Feminists want to stop the objectification of people. But how do you do that when Beyonce, a supposed feminist role model, talks about feminism but encourages the opposite of it with her performance? I'm sorry, but standing in silhouette against the huge flashed word "feminist" does not a feminist make. I get the message that we need to teach our daughters/ girls that they can be sexual beings like the men. I get that loud and clear. However, I don't picture this as the way I want to teach my daughters/ nieces/ girls as the appropriate way to express their sexuality.

I'm not so much as angry at Beyonce as more disappointed. I remember my friend introducing me to another song of Beyonce's, "If I Were a Boy," a song (along with the music video) that critiqued the double standards society has for men and women. I LOVE THAT SONG. In fact, here is the video:

 I went, "You go Beyonce!" Then the whole Drunk-in-Love/ Anna-Mae reference scandal happened, but I was willing to give her and Jay-Z the benefit of the doubt. After all, this was also around the time that she had come into her "feminist-consciousness."

Then the VMA awards happened. It's really disappointing.

Let's stop going to the extremes, where we either under-sexualize women (e.g. "Women don't have sex drives"- FALSE!) or we hyper/over-sexualize them to the point where everyone feels that it's alright to be this coarse/ crude. Just because  our society today takes swearing, and sowing sexual wild oats as marks of male masculinity and virility doesn't mean that we as women need to do these things as well just to prove that we are equal. No one should be hyper-sexualized, male or female, but taught to respect themselves and their bodies. This is what feminists should be fighting for.

Althea Gibson

My Google webpage doodle today was a cartoon of a black woman playing tennis, in honor of Althea Gibson.

Who is Althea Gibson? I am ashamed to say I've never heard of her, and wish I had known about her earlier.

According to an article on ESPN.com and her Wikipedia entry, Gibson was the first black player to cross the racial line in international tennis. She became the first African-American to win the singles Grand Slam title (from the French Open) in 1956. Did I mention she also partnered with Angela Buxton to win the doubles title of the same French Open too?

Then in 1957, she became the first black person to win the Wimbledon and the U.S. Nationals Tennis players, two of the most prestigious world titles in tennis! Then, she repeated her victories at the same two tournaments in 1958 as well! As a result, she was voted by the Associate Press as its "Female Athlete of the Year" in 1957 and '58, and became the top seeded player in the world for those.

But her accomplishments doesn't stop there. Not only did she break racial barriers in the sports arena, she was also the first African-American woman to grace the covers of Sports Illustrated and Time magazine.

WHAM! You go girl!

Sadly, racial barriers continued to be erected against her and other players of color. It would be another 15 years before another woman of color won the Wimbledon and French Open titles again (Evonne Goolagon, an Australian Aboriginal). Gibson also revealed that though she was ranked the top tennis player, there was (at that time) little money to be made from playing professional tennis. Hence, she retired from the tennis circuit after her victories, and went on to try her hand in various other ventures.

Gibson didn't let racial and gender barriers stand in her way in pursuit of her dreams- truly a woman to be highlighted for her accomplishments. Thank you Google making us more aware of this inspiring woman.

Beneath the Surface

For those of you who keep up with my other blog, you would have read that I was in the Philippines a few weeks ago. While there, we were sitting in a taxi on the way to the Philippines Manila LDS temple when we saw a group of girls clinging to a jeepney and traveling on a busy road. Totally legal!

It was quite a sight, and I hurriedly took a picture. In my mind, I thought the jeepney was just too crowded, and so they simply "hopped on" to the jeepney via this ingenious method. 

Until the taxi driver informed us that these girls were probably part of a larger criminal syndicate to exploit young children from poorer rural villages elsewhere in the Philippines. Syndicate members would go to these villages and "buy" these children, both boys and girls. Many of their parents think that they are giving their children a better life by agreeing to do so. These children would then be transported to larger cities, such as Manila, where they will be exploited as "cheap laborers" for the syndicates. 

The taxi driver then casually mentioned that when the girls were older, they would be sold into prostitution. 

It broke my heart. 

As we passed by the jeepney, one of them saw that I was taking their picture. Using one hand to cling to the jeepney and keep her balance, she used her other hand to make a "peace" sign as she smiled and posed for my camera. I have a picture that captures her innocence, but I can't bear to put it up. 

It just blows my mind that everything looked so casual and carefree, but underneath lies a story of exploitation and corruption. It is such a complex situation that goes back all the way to the rural villages and criminal syndicates, and the reality is that there is nothing I can do about it, except raise awareness about this situation. I really wish I could do something.

Fatherhood and Crying Babies

In the same spirit that Dove, the giant beauty products brand, is promoting natural beauty, Thailand's second largest mobile phone provider, DTAC, is also encouraging people to "disconnect" from technology and spend more quality time with those around them. Ironic but hey, it's a win-win for everyone, so kudos to them.

DTAC just released their latest ad a few days ago, titled "The Power of Love," and I absolutely love it! Aside from the cute (albeit crying) baby and it's powerful message about technology, there is a subtle gender message about fatherhood that I think is appropriate and should be promoted.

Enjoy!

P.S. Check out their other ad, "Disconnect to Connect", which can be found HERE.

Women and Priesthood Power

I'm trying to move on from the OW issue, but it seems that God has one more lesson for me, and I feel that I need to share it to (once again) clear up any misconceptions about my Church.

I was asked to substitute as a Sunday School teacher for the next few weeks, and was preparing my lesson about 1 Samuel 14-20. The lesson is really about the friendships between King Saul, David and Jonathan. Yet, somehow I ended up reading the speech given by Dallin H. Oaks in last April's General Conference, titled "The Keys and Authority of the Priesthood" (LINK HERE). Dallin H. Oaks is considered one of the twelve apostles in our times. When I first heard it, I thought, "Okay, nothing new..." However, when I read it again yesterday, I was astonished that I completely missed these passages:

"We are not accustomed to speaking of women having the authority of the priesthood in their Church callings, but what other authority can it be? When a woman- young or old- is set apart to preach the gospel as a full-time missionary, she is given priesthood authority to perform a priesthood function. The same is true when a woman is set apart to function as an officer or teacher in a Church organization under the direction of one who holds the keys of the priesthood...

Whoever exercises priesthood authority should forget about their rights and concentrate on their responsibilities. That is a principle needed in society at large... Latter-day Saints surely recognize that qualifying for exaltation is not a matter of asserting rights but a matter of fulfilling responsibilities.

...

The Lord has directed that only men will be ordained to offices in the priesthood. But as various Church leaders have emphasized, men are not "the priesthood."... The greatest power God has given to His sons cannot be exercised without the companionship of one of His daughters, because only to His daughters has God given the power "to be a creator of bodies... so that God's design and the Great Plan might meet fruition."

Perhaps this is what is tripping people up- it's true that only men are ordained to the offices in the priesthood, meaning that they are ordained to be deacons, priests, bishops, seventy, apostles and prophets, etc., at least in modern days. This is the way the Church functions, and quite frankly, when Jesus Christ was on the earth, this was the way He organized His church too.

But priesthood office does NOT equal priesthood authority/ power. Rather, Elder Oaks teaches that women can also exercise priesthood authority when directed by male leaders to do so via Church callings or as a sister missionary. Male church leaders have priesthood keys to direct the work, but priesthood power and authority can be disseminated to both men and women according to their responsibilities.

*WHOAH*

How many of us heard this? Can he get more explicit than this?

This reminded me another talk given by another apostle, M. Russell Ballard, at the 2013 BYU Education Week, called "Let Us Think Straight." (Elder Oaks quoted part of his speech in his talk too- clearly it's a hallmark speech.)

When men and women go to the temple, they are both endowed with the same power, which by definition is priesthood power. While the authority of the priesthood is directed through priesthood keys, and priesthood keys are held only by worthy men, access to the power and the blessings of the priesthood is available to all of God’s children.
...
Those who have entered the waters of baptism and subsequently received their endowment in the house of the Lord are eligible for rich and wonderful blessings. The endowment is literally a gift of power. All who enter the house of the Lord officiate in the ordinances of the priesthood. This applies to men and women alike.
...
Our Father in Heaven is generous with His power. All men and all women have access to this power for help in our own lives. All who have made sacred covenants with the Lord and who honor those covenants are eligible to receive personal revelation, to be blessed by the ministering of angels, to commune with God, to receive the fulness of the gospel, and, ultimately, to become heirs alongside Jesus Christ of all our Father has.

Once again, here is another apostle stating clearly the relationship between women and the priesthood:
- Women hold priesthood power
- Women are entitled to the same blessings of the priesthood as the men
- However, this also means that women have to bear the same responsibilities as the men in ministering and serving others- sorry, it's not a free gift.

So let's be clear what exactly do we mean when we talk about "ordaining women" to the priesthood.

• If we are talking about ordaining women to priesthood power/ authority, then we do not need this because women already have and exercise it. 
• If we are talking about ordaining women to hold priesthood keys, that's another issue. Both Elder Oaks and Elder Ballard have stated that priesthood keys (and offices) are only to be held by worthy men, which means someone can say, "This still leaves ultimate direction and decision-making in the hands of the men! Preposterous!" 

It's true, but may I quote Elder Ballard again in this same speech when he said, "Brothers and sisters, this matter, like many others, comes down to our faith. Do we believe that this is the Lord’s Church? Do we believe that He has organized it according to His purposes and wisdom? Do we believe that His wisdom far exceeds ours? Do we believe that He has organized His Church in a manner that would be the greatest possible blessing to all of His children, both His sons and His daughters?"

If we say we believe that this is the Lord's Church, led by His living prophets and apostles, then we need to trust that the way the Church is currently set up is appointed, or at the very least, approved, by God. It doesn't seem fair, but we have to trust that only God knows the reasons why He designed the Church hierarchy to be as such.

Let's take that and move on. There are far more important things to focus on then who has ultimate directing keys, because really, at the end of the day, the gospel isn't about fighting over priesthood keys/ authority/ power. The gospel is about the atonement of Jesus Christ, and what we do with our lives to follow Christ and serve others. It is only then that the priesthood can take effect and truly make a difference.