Feminism is NOT hyper-sexualization

At the most recent MTV Video Music Awards (VMA), Beyonce performed a 16-minute medley of her songs. At the 10th minute, the entire stage was dimmed, and these words

"We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are. We teach girls to shrink themselves, make themselves smaller. We say to girls, you can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful, otherwise you will threaten the man. Feminist (the person who believes in the social, political and economic equality of the sexes)."

flashed across the screen.

Feminists in America rejoiced, because as an article in Time magazine wrote, "Beyonce's brand of empowerment isn't perfect, but her VMA performace on Sunday accomplished what activists could not: She took feminism to the masses."

Beyonce did bring feminism to the masses, but in reality, I'm really really really confused by her performance. I like the words that flashed across the screen, but like Mollie Hemmingway who wrote THIS POST for The Federalist, and THIS ARTICLE from the UK Independent, the rest of the performance left me wondering how it contributed to feminism. Her music was filled with lyrics about sex and b**ches and getting drunk and more sex; her dance moves included spreading her legs, grinding her booty (and she has a really awesome booty if I may say- is this objectifying her? If yes, then wasn't that the point of her costume and performance for us to admire her body?), and dancing alongside a team of scantily-clad backup dancers.

And while Beyonce was participating in this hyper-sexualized performance, her young daughter was sitting in the audience, watching her mom's not-child-appropriate performance.

Is this feminism?

Feminists want to stop the objectification of people. But how do you do that when Beyonce, a supposed feminist role model, talks about feminism but encourages the opposite of it with her performance? I'm sorry, but standing in silhouette against the huge flashed word "feminist" does not a feminist make. I get the message that we need to teach our daughters/ girls that they can be sexual beings like the men. I get that loud and clear. However, I don't picture this as the way I want to teach my daughters/ nieces/ girls as the appropriate way to express their sexuality.

I'm not so much as angry at Beyonce as more disappointed. I remember my friend introducing me to another song of Beyonce's, "If I Were a Boy," a song (along with the music video) that critiqued the double standards society has for men and women. I LOVE THAT SONG. In fact, here is the video:

 I went, "You go Beyonce!" Then the whole Drunk-in-Love/ Anna-Mae reference scandal happened, but I was willing to give her and Jay-Z the benefit of the doubt. After all, this was also around the time that she had come into her "feminist-consciousness."

Then the VMA awards happened. It's really disappointing.

Let's stop going to the extremes, where we either under-sexualize women (e.g. "Women don't have sex drives"- FALSE!) or we hyper/over-sexualize them to the point where everyone feels that it's alright to be this coarse/ crude. Just because  our society today takes swearing, and sowing sexual wild oats as marks of male masculinity and virility doesn't mean that we as women need to do these things as well just to prove that we are equal. No one should be hyper-sexualized, male or female, but taught to respect themselves and their bodies. This is what feminists should be fighting for.