Motherhood Matters- HECK YES!!!

I loved this article, written by April Perry from Power of Moms, that was just published in the Deseret News on September 3, 2014. In fact, I love it so much, I'm re-publishing excerpts here (FULL ARTICLE HERE) because it has such a vital message to all mothers everywhere. Let me know what you think! 

Motherhood Matters: 6 reasons to never give up on motherhood

by April Powers

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Never, never, never give up.

So simple, really. But that phrase has come back to me time and again, and today, I feel impressed to share it.

All of us have challenging times in our lives, and there are varying ways we might choose to give up.

Sometimes mothers mentally check out — and just stop trying. Giving up might mean permanently walking out on the family — thinking that everyone would be better off if Mom weren't there. In some heartbreaking cases, "giving up" means suicide, and children are left to fend for themselves — or make do with a new guardian who tries to take Mom's place. I know I don't fully understand the feelings that would lead to such an extreme, but I can empathize with the perspective a friend shared: "Death is easier than what I am living right now."

I'm not sure who is going to read this post, but if you have ever felt like giving up on motherhood, here are six reasons to stay strong:

1. We are not alone.

Every mother (even if she looks totally put together) has discouraging times.

We might need to look deeper and get past all the talk about room remodels, vacations and parties, but if we look carefully (and encourage honesty), we'll see that everyone else is just as human as we are.

Finding a trusted group of friends and reaching out to other moms has literally been a lifesaver for many, many women. 

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Sometimes we just need to open up and get talking in order to find the friends we need. [And can I say this has helped me as I've opened myself and talked to friends and fellow grad students about the struggles of grad school? I  truly believe sharing, even just verbal sharing, makes burdens lighter.]

2. Children would rather have an imperfect mom who is struggling to be better than no mom at all.

Deep down we all know this, but we need to remember it — and really believe it.

I heard a story about a young man who went to live with his extended family after his mother took her own life. At his first back-to-school night, hundreds of miles away from his former life, he paused outside the doorway of his classroom and quietly said to his aunt, "Can you please just tell my teacher that you're my mom?"

This story touches my heart every time I think about it...

And I think about my children, who see me at my very worst, but love me anyway. They are so quick to forgive.

I never want my little ones to have to explain to anyone why I gave up. So I won't. I just won't give up.

3. There is beauty all around us. We just need to train ourselves to see it.

I have the opportunity to speak with mothers all around the world, and I know this life doesn't always feel beautiful.

What's beautiful about being so exhausted that you can't even get everyone out of the house? How is it beautiful when your bank account has $3.23, and it's three days until the next paycheck? Where is the beauty in children arguing over who left the milk on the counter?

It's beautiful because it's yours. Because it's real. And because it's full of potential.

Think of a lump of clay, a blank canvas, that seed covered with dirt. What about the bare maple tree in winter? Or the darkest part of the night?

It's about perspective and potential.

The way we enable ourselves to see that beauty is by polishing the lenses through which we see the world. And that's done by taking care of ourselves.

When we get away occasionally with friends, regularly make time to exercise well, eat food that fuels us, get enough rest, and remember we're people, the world looks better. (Click here for an article about getting an extra hour of quiet time each day.)

Is it hard to do these things? You bet. But we do it because it transforms our perspective on life.

4. We have a purpose that's uniquely ours.

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[Story of author miraculously walking away, completely unharmed, after being ran over by a truck with a camper when she was only 18 months old!]

I found this website about children whose lives have been lost in back-over incidents, and not a day goes by that I don't think about my second chance.

Perhaps that's part of why I'm so purpose-driven — because I came so close to losing this opportunity to live a full life.

But here's the thing, it is so easy to get confused about our purposes. We start thinking we have to look a certain way, dress a certain way and have what everyone else has. We read an amazing blog and yearn to replicate what we see. We get frustrated with our children for "getting in our way." I have to remind myself daily to cling to my purpose — not to get distracted by the siren call of all those "extras" that look so appealing.

5. This life isn't just about us.

I have this as a rotating image on my screen saver:

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Some days are long and stressful, and we have to work frantically just to keep up, but during those times, we can remember that our work, whether appreciated or not, is sustaining the lives of our children. That is noble. That is beautiful.

6. Today is not forever.

My friend told me the story of a mother who took a bath with her newborn baby one morning. I won't elaborate on the details, but the baby made an explosive mess, and the mother had to yell for her husband to bring a towel and help her get cleaned up. We've all had those really gross moments.

But in the midst of the yuck, she heard a little voice in her head say, "Today is not forever."

Fast-forward a couple of hours, and that same mom was sitting on the couch with her preschool son, who was climbing on her back and laughing while she tickled his legs. His arms wrapped tight around her neck, and smiles covered their faces as they enjoyed the moment.

Then she heard that same voice, reminding her of the same truth, "Today is not forever."

Whatever it is that we're cherishing at the moment — or praying we can simply overcome — our lives won't always be the way they are now.

We have choices and power to change in areas where we are weak. And we have the fortitude to get through those days that feel impossible.

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It's my hope that each of us can accept the simple challenge to never give up on this beautiful life.

This article is courtesy of Power of Moms, an online gathering place for deliberate mothers.