Another Example of Chinese Patriarchy

My maternal grandmother passed away in October 2015, and we held a Buddhist funeral ritual for her. As dictated by the ritual, each family member sat according to their "rank" and position in the family. I was surprised at how the ranking went.

Top of the chain: eldest grandson of the eldest son of the deceased. Yes, not the son but the grandson! He even has a special title-- "dua soon"/ 大孙
==> Next, the eldest son and his wife of the deceased, followed by the other sons and their wives
==> "Adopted" sons, translated into English as "godsons" (borrowing from Catholicism)
==> Daughters 
==> Son-in-laws (husbands of daughters)
==> Grandchildren of the deceased who come from the sons, considered to be 内孙 or "inside grandchildren." Since these grandchildren are from the sons, they take the surname of deceased and "belong" to the family. 
==> Grandchildren from the daughters, considered 外孙/ "outside grandchildren."
==> Great-grandchildren.
[My grandmother lived till 97, and saw the birth of her great-great-grandchildren, which I think is quite a feat!]

In most modern day Singaporean families, this hierarchy isn't a big deal because it has no permanent or day-to-day repercussions. But I was still indignant for my mom and aunts. Even though they were the flesh-and-blood daughters of my grandmother, they were ranked lower than the "adopted" godson. Furthermore, three of my aunts are actually older than my uncle, so in terms of age, they are more senior than him, but because of his gender, he is ranked higher than them.

My mom and aunts weren't upset about being placed after the sons (real and adopted) because . Furthermore, according to Chinese tradition, the sons are expected to care for their parents in the old age. My grandmother lived with my uncle for her entire life, and he and his wife did take good care of her. Hence, no one (including I) was particularly bothered that my uncle ranked higher than my aunts. Sometimes, you just have to let some things go. 

Yet, I couldn't help but feel frustration from such archaic traditions. My mother and aunts took better care of my grandmother than her godson did; yet he still ranked higher than all of them. Men always ranked higher, even if they were not as filial. Moreover, a woman's position and rank in the family is completely dependent on her marital status/ husband, and if she was born from a son or daughter.

It is heartening that the traditional Singaporean Chinese mindset of favoring males over females has drastically reduced in recent decades, but hints of Chinese patriarchy still creeps in subtle and silent ways into our culture and everyday lives.