Every year, my church holds 2 worldwide conferences for all members, once in April and the other in October. This year's General Conference (as we call it) was historic as we just sustained a new prophet, and more significantly, our new prophet announced a few new changes to some programs of the Church. (Unrelated to this post, but also historic to this year's conference was the calling of the first TWO non-white apostles! Granted Elder Gong grew up in Utah, so I'm not sure how "non-white" he is, but I think he will still provide a different perspective.)
It's hard to explain to non-members on a blog post what these changes are, but you can read about them HERE and HERE. To put it simply, meetings that only involve men have either been simplified (e.g. combining of High Priest and Elders Quorum), or eliminated (e.g. Priesthood Executive Committee Meeting). It is clear that top Church leaders are taking steps to involve the women in the decision making process, and are also focusing more efforts on "ministering", as opposed to "ticking off a To-Do list."
As a LDS feminist, I am thrilled with these changes. I've always wondered why we needed to have both Ward Council and PEC because I bet my money many PEC meetings are really extended Ward Council meetings, just without the women. And I think the standardization of Relief Society and Elders Quorum meetings, and involvement of 14-year-old men and women in ministering efforts is a step forward in helping women feel like they aren't just an "appendage" to the Church or just another "auxiliary" secondary to the primary "priesthood."
Then I received a message today from my Primary President, whom I now serve to as a second counselor. (FYI: My church's organization for the children 2 to 12 is called Primary.) The message I received came from my local leaders, and read "Good morning Ward Council members, in accordance with instructions from the First Presidency, a Ward and Stake Council Leadership Meeting will replace the Priesthood Leadership Meeting that will be held this Saturday afternoon...
Those invited to attend the...meeting has been expanded so that it now includes the entire ward council, ward Relief Society Presidencies, ward Young Women Presidencies, ward Primary Presidencies..."
MORE MEETINGS! 😓😠What used to be a male-only, extra meeting for them has now been expanded to include women.
Oh the downside of gender equality.
At least my Primary President was more optimistic and had a better attitude than me, as she said "I think this is going to be good! *Insert smiley face emoji with heart-eyes*" I know, I need to learn from her. It's just a struggle for me as I'm very protective of my weekends now that I've started working. Going to an extra meeting, however beneficial it will be, just doesn't make me excited.
I'm excited for the new changes, but dang it! Talk about turning the tables on us. The price to pay for more standardization of programs across the Church.
Lesson to self: every policy always has its positive and negative sides. Let us examine and think through all sides of the issue before voicing out changes.
Sunday, April 8, 2018
Saturday, October 21, 2017
#MeToo Campaign: Why We Speak Out
I served a mission for my church in Taipei, Taiwan, from 2007 to 2009. In the last few months of my mission, I was sent to Taoyuan, a city in the northwestern part of the island. My companion and I were cycling home one night when I stopped at a red light. As was my habit, I turned to the person next to me and began talking to him about my faith. It was a man on a bicycle who had cycled in front of me, but I had caught up to him at the red light. We spoke briefly and I gave him a pamphlet before the light turned green, and we parted.
After cycling a minute or so, I turned to see if my companion was behind me, and noticed the same man following us. Call it the prompting of the Spirit or personal intuition, but something felt "off." I pulled to the side to see what he would do. Sure enough, he stopped a few meters behind my companion and I, and pretended not to see us. Not knowing what to do, we continued cycling, hoping that we were mistaken. We had not cycled far when I turned around, and discovered that he was on our tail again. I pulled over again, and he did the same thing.
I was fearful at this point. Our apartment complex was in a deserted area, with almost no lighting at the parking lot where we parked our bikes (see picture on right). We were two young and unarmed females, and were already tired from a long day of work. If the man had pulled a weapon on us, I think even having a companion would not have helped. But even if nothing happened, the anxiety from being stalked was genuine and gripping.
Not knowing what to do, I pulled over, and my companion and I decided to call my District Leader (the missionary Elder in charge of us). While on the phone, I noticed that the man finally cycled past us, as if he knew that we were calling for backup. I told my District Leader about what happened, and that the man had cycled away. He told us to call him again if we saw the man.
We began the journey home again. My eyes kept darting around, looking for the man. We never saw him again, but the damage was done. I could not shake off that feeling of fear, especially when we turned into the deserted street where our apartment building was. We quickly locked the door, and that's when I finally sighed in relief. My District Leader also called us soon after to make sure that we had arrived home safely, and I was happy to report that we were okay.
As I reflect back on this incident, I can't help but make the following observations:
- Having a mission companion was a blessing, even if I struggled with the rule to be stay with her (and all my other companions) 24/7.
- I'm grateful that my companion and District Leader believed me. They didn't question my judgment, but instead asked how they could help.
- I was dressed as a missionary, which at that point of time, meant that I had to wear blouses with sleeves, and skirts that came to mid-calf. I assure you that when I talked to the man, we only spoke of religion. No flirting, no touching, no revealing or sexy clothing, nada. And yet, he still stalked my companion and I. It is true that sexual assailants can hurt anyone, regardless of their clothing or behavior.
In the past few days, many women have shared their stories/ experiences of being sexual harassed and assaulted as part of the #MeToo campaign. [For more information on the #MeToo campaign, see this link: http://bit.ly/2gw2hWf. Surprise surprise, it was started way back in 2007, before social media was a "thing."]
To be honest, when the campaign exploded on social media, I was wary of it, not because I didn't think it was important to raise awareness that it is a prevalent societal problem, but because it is hard to differentiate when people are just throwing around this hashtag to be part of the "in" crowd. After reading people's thoughts, stories, feedback, and push back over the past few days, I think such posts are beneficial if we understand that:
1) The #metoo campaign as is currently going around on social media (who knows how it will evolve?) is about raising awareness and solidarity, and letting others, especially women, know that they are not alone in experiencing sexual harassment and assault.
2) It is NOT going to solve the problem or change societal behavior, but speaking out and raising awareness is always the first step. Changing behavior...now that is another issue for another post.
3) It is helpful if we share our stories/ experiences of being sexually attacked, on condition that we feel emotionally and mentally comfortable with that. If you are still struggling from a sexual attack, you have zero obligation to share your experience. Don't feel as if you have to or must do so.
But sharing can be helpful because it raises awareness for everyone to know what constitutes sexual harassment and assault. There are people who do not think that so-called "innocent" gestures are considered harassment/ assault, such as cat-calling someone. But the more we let others know that these actions are a form of harassment/ assault, the more everyone in our social media circles are better informed, and thus held culpable for their actions.
Furthermore, reading these stories can help others recognize when they have been harassed/ assaulted, but didn't realize, recognize, or remember it. When the #MeToo campaign took off a few days ago, I tried to think of an instance when I was sexually harassed, but came up blank. Perhaps my mind had wiped away that traumatizing experience from my memory? Then last night, when I read one of my friend's post on Facebook about her sexual assault experience, it jolted back my memory of what happened on my mission. Her experience wasn't even similar to mine, and yet, it helped me remember.
4) How people react to such stories is PIVOTAL, especially the men. I've read countless posts from female friends who shared how they were sexually attacked by a man, and how grateful they were to their male friends who believed their story and confronted their attacker. Of course women can confront their assailants by themselves, but it provides much comfort and strength when men (and other women) come forward and say, "I believe you, and I want to help."
5) Victim blaming is wrong. Period. As seen from my own experience, you can be wearing the most modest and gaudy clothing (I shudder when I see pictures of my mission clothes), and there will still be men who will sexually harass/ assault women. I get the argument about modest clothing, and I agree that modest clothing contributes to an environment that promotes modesty and decency in thought and behavior. However, even if a woman walks down a street naked, no person has the right to attack her or say, "She deserved it." Also, there are victims of rape who freeze up, or give up the struggle and submit to the assault. This does not then make it their fault. Blaming a rape victim for submitting to their rape is akin to saying a human deserved to die when he/she froze during a tiger/ lion/ [insert predatory animal] attack. Rape victims just want to survive, and freezing up or submitting is sometimes the only way they can.
6) Moving forward, we need to do more than just let this be another social media campaign which patters away. I can already see people moving on to the next hot topic, and that's fine, but hopefully we have learned something, and will do something in the future if we see a person harassed/ assaulted in the future.
After cycling a minute or so, I turned to see if my companion was behind me, and noticed the same man following us. Call it the prompting of the Spirit or personal intuition, but something felt "off." I pulled to the side to see what he would do. Sure enough, he stopped a few meters behind my companion and I, and pretended not to see us. Not knowing what to do, we continued cycling, hoping that we were mistaken. We had not cycled far when I turned around, and discovered that he was on our tail again. I pulled over again, and he did the same thing.
 |
| This picture was taken a few months after the incident, at the parking lot of my apartment complex in Taoyuan. The brightness of the picture is due to the flash of the camera, |
Not knowing what to do, I pulled over, and my companion and I decided to call my District Leader (the missionary Elder in charge of us). While on the phone, I noticed that the man finally cycled past us, as if he knew that we were calling for backup. I told my District Leader about what happened, and that the man had cycled away. He told us to call him again if we saw the man.
We began the journey home again. My eyes kept darting around, looking for the man. We never saw him again, but the damage was done. I could not shake off that feeling of fear, especially when we turned into the deserted street where our apartment building was. We quickly locked the door, and that's when I finally sighed in relief. My District Leader also called us soon after to make sure that we had arrived home safely, and I was happy to report that we were okay.
As I reflect back on this incident, I can't help but make the following observations:
- Having a mission companion was a blessing, even if I struggled with the rule to be stay with her (and all my other companions) 24/7.
- I'm grateful that my companion and District Leader believed me. They didn't question my judgment, but instead asked how they could help.
- I was dressed as a missionary, which at that point of time, meant that I had to wear blouses with sleeves, and skirts that came to mid-calf. I assure you that when I talked to the man, we only spoke of religion. No flirting, no touching, no revealing or sexy clothing, nada. And yet, he still stalked my companion and I. It is true that sexual assailants can hurt anyone, regardless of their clothing or behavior.
 |
| My mission district when the incident occurred. Standing in the front row is my district leader, Elder Liu, me, and my companion, Sister Shi. |
In the past few days, many women have shared their stories/ experiences of being sexual harassed and assaulted as part of the #MeToo campaign. [For more information on the #MeToo campaign, see this link: http://bit.ly/2gw2hWf. Surprise surprise, it was started way back in 2007, before social media was a "thing."]
To be honest, when the campaign exploded on social media, I was wary of it, not because I didn't think it was important to raise awareness that it is a prevalent societal problem, but because it is hard to differentiate when people are just throwing around this hashtag to be part of the "in" crowd. After reading people's thoughts, stories, feedback, and push back over the past few days, I think such posts are beneficial if we understand that:
1) The #metoo campaign as is currently going around on social media (who knows how it will evolve?) is about raising awareness and solidarity, and letting others, especially women, know that they are not alone in experiencing sexual harassment and assault.
2) It is NOT going to solve the problem or change societal behavior, but speaking out and raising awareness is always the first step. Changing behavior...now that is another issue for another post.
3) It is helpful if we share our stories/ experiences of being sexually attacked, on condition that we feel emotionally and mentally comfortable with that. If you are still struggling from a sexual attack, you have zero obligation to share your experience. Don't feel as if you have to or must do so.
But sharing can be helpful because it raises awareness for everyone to know what constitutes sexual harassment and assault. There are people who do not think that so-called "innocent" gestures are considered harassment/ assault, such as cat-calling someone. But the more we let others know that these actions are a form of harassment/ assault, the more everyone in our social media circles are better informed, and thus held culpable for their actions.
Furthermore, reading these stories can help others recognize when they have been harassed/ assaulted, but didn't realize, recognize, or remember it. When the #MeToo campaign took off a few days ago, I tried to think of an instance when I was sexually harassed, but came up blank. Perhaps my mind had wiped away that traumatizing experience from my memory? Then last night, when I read one of my friend's post on Facebook about her sexual assault experience, it jolted back my memory of what happened on my mission. Her experience wasn't even similar to mine, and yet, it helped me remember.
4) How people react to such stories is PIVOTAL, especially the men. I've read countless posts from female friends who shared how they were sexually attacked by a man, and how grateful they were to their male friends who believed their story and confronted their attacker. Of course women can confront their assailants by themselves, but it provides much comfort and strength when men (and other women) come forward and say, "I believe you, and I want to help."
5) Victim blaming is wrong. Period. As seen from my own experience, you can be wearing the most modest and gaudy clothing (I shudder when I see pictures of my mission clothes), and there will still be men who will sexually harass/ assault women. I get the argument about modest clothing, and I agree that modest clothing contributes to an environment that promotes modesty and decency in thought and behavior. However, even if a woman walks down a street naked, no person has the right to attack her or say, "She deserved it." Also, there are victims of rape who freeze up, or give up the struggle and submit to the assault. This does not then make it their fault. Blaming a rape victim for submitting to their rape is akin to saying a human deserved to die when he/she froze during a tiger/ lion/ [insert predatory animal] attack. Rape victims just want to survive, and freezing up or submitting is sometimes the only way they can.
6) Moving forward, we need to do more than just let this be another social media campaign which patters away. I can already see people moving on to the next hot topic, and that's fine, but hopefully we have learned something, and will do something in the future if we see a person harassed/ assaulted in the future.
Sunday, June 18, 2017
Wonder Woman Movie Review
As a feminist, I felt like it was almost an obligation to support the new Wonder Woman movie.
And I'm glad I did. It was great! Do I think it deserves its current 92% "fresh" rating on Rotten Tomatoes? Probably not, but for a comic superhero, summer popcorn movie, it's heads above many others. No wonder people are raving about it. It has a solid plot, good humor, and I liked the character development for Wonder Woman. Gal Gadot fit the role VERY well, and she is one beautiful woman. I couldn't stop staring at her! I know she is already a natural beauty, but kudos to her makeup artist for elevating her looks to goddess (ha ha...pun intended) level. And Wonder Woman's theme song is fabulous! If you have not heard it, Google it please. Soooooo good.
And I loved how Wonder Woman fought alongside Chris Pine's character to defeat the villain(s). As a feminist film, I thought it projected a positive message about womanhood and strength.
Having said that, I recognize that the movie preached a type of feminism in which positive womanhood is to be found outside of the home, and alongside men "in the trenches" (literally and figuratively). A very typical "Western liberal" feminist slant to the movie, but you know what? Considering that this is the first standalone female superhero comic movie, I'm not going to gripe about this. And also because I agree that positive womanhood can be found outside of the home, as well as in the home. If I have daughters, I'm going to teach them that there are different forms and types of female empowerment, and this film showed one of them.
What I was not okay with the movie was:
- The inappropriate shot which showed a naked Chris Pine covering his penis with his hand. TOTALLY UNNECESSARY and WHY?! I was disappointed that the director made the choice to keep this shot in. You have been warned.
- The unnecessary dirty jokes. I'm not referring to the part (SPOILER) where Wonder Woman saw Chris Pine in all his birthday suit, and asked, "Are you average for a man?" as she looked at his man parts in puzzlement. This part was fine because it was a form of "innocent humor"-- it's her first time seeing a man in her life after all! So this joke, I could accept. But there were other dirty jokes that made me go, this is NOT okay for little children.
- The CGI during the fight scenes. Eww.
- The last fight scene was a paradoxically messy epic battle.
- Some minor details that didn't make sense.
Would I recommend it? Yes. You don't have to rush to watch it, and you can wait till it hits the dollar theater, but it is definitely worth watching at least once. No young children though. Only appropriate for audiences who know what the birds and bees are.
Have you guys seen the movie? Let me know your thoughts if you did!
Friday, March 31, 2017
Safeguarding Marriage is now Misogyny?!
The Washington Post recently revealed that U.S. vice-president Mike Pence requires that any aide who works late with him has to be male, never dines alone with a woman other than his wife, and does not attend events where alcohol is served unless his wife is also present. Such measures safeguard himself against accusations of impropriety and, in his words, "[builds] a zone around your marriage."
But liberals are up in arms about his safeguards, calling him misogynistic, sexist, and unable to see women as anything other than sexual temptresses (otherwise why the fear of dining alone with another woman?).
This was a personal issue for me because here's the thing: my dad taught me the same thing, and practices it as well, and so reading the accusations hurled on Pence was, to me, the same as attacking my dad. And I can assure you that my dad is anything but misogynistic/ sexist/ only able to see women as sexual beings. It was such an unfair accusation that I had to write about this.
So let's clear some things up:
1) In setting such boundaries, men show respect for their wives and marriages by ensuring that they avoid AS MANY opportunities for temptation as possible. We should applaud efforts of men who are trying to avoid temptation, not pull them down. Marriage is hard enough, and safeguards are there to ensure marriages survive. Will going to one dinner alone with someone of the opposite sex lead to adultery? Not always, but I bet there have been instances when it has. I mean, how do any relationships (including between two single people) start? Usually over a cup of coffee/ meal.
2) These men show respect for their wives and marriages by avoiding the appearance of all impropriety, thus giving their spouses a greater sense of security, and opponents less opportunities to accuse them of inappropriate behavior. The (sad) reality is that we live in a VERY judgmental society, quick to post about anything and everything without the full picture, and it's not hard to imagine making snap judgments about married men dining alone with another woman. Yes, we should not judge, but until we live in a perfect world, that's just not going to happen, and so we do the best that we can, and try to avoid the appearance of all "evil."
3) Also, isn't it refreshing to witness a strong, high-level political marriage that has clearly-delineated boundaries? So unlike Trump's sham marriage.
4) They aren't oppose to working with women, giving women education/ healthcare/ etc. or dining with women...as long as there is one other person (male or female) there. So stop accusing them of misogyny. If you want to accuse Pence of misogyny, find something else, like his opposition to funding of Planned Parenthood or something, but don't go after him over this issue.
5) Pence (or my dad...or other such men) are not imposing his safeguards on the rest of the nation. This is what I don't get about the uproar against him. These safeguards are personal choices that he and his wife decided on, and we should respect that. If other people have looser marriage boundaries, who's stopping them? They are free to dine with people of the opposite sex alone. It's not like Pence's safeguards are affecting other people's marriages, or the way he works with women.
6) It's another (sad) reality that we live in a world that is highly sexualized. Porn is rampant and readily available, our entertainment and advertisements are explicitly sexual, and virtue is cheapened and devalued. Sexual temptation is everywhere. It's just a fact, and there are people who choose to deal with it in more conservative ways. I as a single Mormon woman find it hard enough to live a high moral code, and I can't imagine how much harder it is for men trying to do the same thing.
7) Sarcastic remarks like "What if Pence had to dine alone with Angela Merkel or Theresa May? Will he be able to do his job?!" are unhelpful exaggerations. These safeguards are not saying that they can't have professional, one-on-one work meetings with women, where temptation can still occur. Not dining or working late alone with a woman is simple, returning to point 1, avoiding as many opportunities for temptation as possible.
8) If such a situation occurs in which my married boss/ co-worker/ friend informs he that he can't dine with me alone or that we can't work late together, as a woman, I have 2 choices: I can respond with outrage and accuse these men of misogyny, or 2) I can opt to take a more sensible and respectful approach, and have someone accompany us or find an alternative. Do I really need to blow this up and make it about sexism? Why can't we just respect their boundaries, even if we disagree with them, and find a peaceful resolution?
As a single woman, I have dined alone with married male friends. There is a deep level of trust and love in their marriages, which is why their wives have no problem with them eating with me. Great!
But all marriages are different and based on different sets of boundaries/ rules/ agreements/ compromises. And if the boundaries set by Pence helps his marriage, then he and his wife should be accorded the same respect and lack of judgment that we give to married couples who do not have the same inhibitions letting their spouse dine with someone of the opposite sex alone. Personally, I think such boundaries are sensible. Perhaps it's because I'm insecure and don't think I will trust my future husband enough. However, I will accord him the same respect and also ensure that I live the same safeguards as he does. As long as we are both living these safeguards, and working to strengthen our marriage, I don't think it's sexist at all.
But liberals are up in arms about his safeguards, calling him misogynistic, sexist, and unable to see women as anything other than sexual temptresses (otherwise why the fear of dining alone with another woman?).
This was a personal issue for me because here's the thing: my dad taught me the same thing, and practices it as well, and so reading the accusations hurled on Pence was, to me, the same as attacking my dad. And I can assure you that my dad is anything but misogynistic/ sexist/ only able to see women as sexual beings. It was such an unfair accusation that I had to write about this.
So let's clear some things up:
1) In setting such boundaries, men show respect for their wives and marriages by ensuring that they avoid AS MANY opportunities for temptation as possible. We should applaud efforts of men who are trying to avoid temptation, not pull them down. Marriage is hard enough, and safeguards are there to ensure marriages survive. Will going to one dinner alone with someone of the opposite sex lead to adultery? Not always, but I bet there have been instances when it has. I mean, how do any relationships (including between two single people) start? Usually over a cup of coffee/ meal.
2) These men show respect for their wives and marriages by avoiding the appearance of all impropriety, thus giving their spouses a greater sense of security, and opponents less opportunities to accuse them of inappropriate behavior. The (sad) reality is that we live in a VERY judgmental society, quick to post about anything and everything without the full picture, and it's not hard to imagine making snap judgments about married men dining alone with another woman. Yes, we should not judge, but until we live in a perfect world, that's just not going to happen, and so we do the best that we can, and try to avoid the appearance of all "evil."
3) Also, isn't it refreshing to witness a strong, high-level political marriage that has clearly-delineated boundaries? So unlike Trump's sham marriage.
4) They aren't oppose to working with women, giving women education/ healthcare/ etc. or dining with women...as long as there is one other person (male or female) there. So stop accusing them of misogyny. If you want to accuse Pence of misogyny, find something else, like his opposition to funding of Planned Parenthood or something, but don't go after him over this issue.
5) Pence (or my dad...or other such men) are not imposing his safeguards on the rest of the nation. This is what I don't get about the uproar against him. These safeguards are personal choices that he and his wife decided on, and we should respect that. If other people have looser marriage boundaries, who's stopping them? They are free to dine with people of the opposite sex alone. It's not like Pence's safeguards are affecting other people's marriages, or the way he works with women.
6) It's another (sad) reality that we live in a world that is highly sexualized. Porn is rampant and readily available, our entertainment and advertisements are explicitly sexual, and virtue is cheapened and devalued. Sexual temptation is everywhere. It's just a fact, and there are people who choose to deal with it in more conservative ways. I as a single Mormon woman find it hard enough to live a high moral code, and I can't imagine how much harder it is for men trying to do the same thing.
7) Sarcastic remarks like "What if Pence had to dine alone with Angela Merkel or Theresa May? Will he be able to do his job?!" are unhelpful exaggerations. These safeguards are not saying that they can't have professional, one-on-one work meetings with women, where temptation can still occur. Not dining or working late alone with a woman is simple, returning to point 1, avoiding as many opportunities for temptation as possible.
8) If such a situation occurs in which my married boss/ co-worker/ friend informs he that he can't dine with me alone or that we can't work late together, as a woman, I have 2 choices: I can respond with outrage and accuse these men of misogyny, or 2) I can opt to take a more sensible and respectful approach, and have someone accompany us or find an alternative. Do I really need to blow this up and make it about sexism? Why can't we just respect their boundaries, even if we disagree with them, and find a peaceful resolution?
As a single woman, I have dined alone with married male friends. There is a deep level of trust and love in their marriages, which is why their wives have no problem with them eating with me. Great!
But all marriages are different and based on different sets of boundaries/ rules/ agreements/ compromises. And if the boundaries set by Pence helps his marriage, then he and his wife should be accorded the same respect and lack of judgment that we give to married couples who do not have the same inhibitions letting their spouse dine with someone of the opposite sex alone. Personally, I think such boundaries are sensible. Perhaps it's because I'm insecure and don't think I will trust my future husband enough. However, I will accord him the same respect and also ensure that I live the same safeguards as he does. As long as we are both living these safeguards, and working to strengthen our marriage, I don't think it's sexist at all.
Sunday, January 22, 2017
Real Men
I am drained from the unrelenting coverage of the transition into a new American presidency, so if you ask me what I think about the new presidency and women's marches, or even how I feel about the Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing at the inauguration, I don't feel anything. I should but I don't.
Sorry.
But I recently saw this story from Facebook, and had to share it. Atif Aslam, a popular Pakistani singer, recently stopped his concert midway to rescue a female audience member sexually harassed by a man next to her. He confronted the man/men and said, "Your mother or your sister could have been here as well," and then told his crew to help the victim on-stage, and escort her to safety. You can read more about it from Huffington Post or watch this video clip on YouTube.
This is what REAL men do. Not feed on misogyny and sexism, or worse, participate in it as the new president has done. Pakistan isn't the safest place for women, but if there are men there who are willing to stand up for women's rights in public, then surely there should be WAY MORE men in countries which claim to be more developed/ progressive/ liberal who do the same.
Sorry.
This is what REAL men do. Not feed on misogyny and sexism, or worse, participate in it as the new president has done. Pakistan isn't the safest place for women, but if there are men there who are willing to stand up for women's rights in public, then surely there should be WAY MORE men in countries which claim to be more developed/ progressive/ liberal who do the same.
Wednesday, December 21, 2016
Diversity versus Pandering
YouTube channel Cinema Sins recently released a video titled "Everything Wrong with Independence Day: Resurgence," in which they identified 158 mistakes/ bad story-telling from the film. The video is snarky as heck but sadly, accurate. If you haven't heard already, the movie was a complete disaster, and disappointed fans who loved the original movie (like me).And if that isn't enough, I would like to add one more "mistake"/ fault, and that is the film attempts to be diverse by including an over-abundance of new characters that are of different races, genders, and sexuality. On the surface, they are a welcome change, especially since even the pantheon of terrific Marvel comic movies aren't anywhere as diverse as this one cast in Independence Day 2 (ID2). Except that it couldn't have been more obvious that the diversity was merely to pander to the audience. And I'm not talking about the fact that a Chinese actress had to be included in the new squad to appeal to the money bags in China--although that too.
No, I'm talking about the fact that at the end of the day, despite trying to be "inclusive" and "diverse," the movie recycled the same trite Hollywood message, which is that only white men have the skills and leadership necessary to save the world. Let me give you 2 examples from this film alone that illustrate this point.
Also, I'm going to spoil the film for the you, but don't feel bad because it's not worth watching.
Example 1) Guess who leads the new squad of baby heroes? Liam Hemsworth, who is fine in the film, but it is his white, male character, Jake Morrison, who is at the forefront of taking down of the alien ships and Queen Bee. Sure, his sidekicks are a black man, a nerdy white men, the above-mentioned Chinese woman, and his white girlfriend-- "So diverse!" screams the film makers-- but really, they do everything because Jake tells them to do so. It is Jake who has the brains and bravado to stop the aliens.
Example 2: I was happy to learn that Sela Ward will play the president of the United States. Hooray, a female president, even if only on the big screen. But her character makes a mistake in dealing with an alien object and she dies. Okay, fine, I can accept that, except guess who takes over as the new president?
100 points for you if you said "another white man." So clever. This new president, combined with Liam Hemworth's muscles, saved the world again!
Bonus example: Want to guess which character planted the final bomb that blew up the alien ship? You guessed it--another white man. President Thomas Whitmore to be exact, which is supposed to be sad, but the film makers did such injustice to his character in the movie, I think Bill Pullman was relieved he wouldn't need to appear in any more sequels.
You know the film makers are pandering when they include such a diverse cast but barely do anything to either get the audience invested in these characters, or show how their race/ ethnicity/ gender/ sexuality enhances the movie. The partnering of Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith in the original worked so well because these two contrasting characters complemented each other (who knew?!), and were thus able to destroy the first alien ship. In this movie, the revolving door of characters made it difficult for any two characters to form partnerships that the audience cared about. Even Liam Hemworth's on-screen romance felt boring and predictable.
By all means keep the Captain Americas, Iron Men, Batmen and Supermen white, heterosexual males. That's how they were in the comics, so let them remain so. I'm also not against letting white males take the lead in superhero/ disaster films. But I honestly do not think it is that difficult to create new co-lead characters that are not white males, and that can work alongside (not under) the white male lead to save the world. Or even have more diverse supporting characters that actually do something meaningful. It would have just been as easy to put a white man as the first president who died, and then have Sela Ward's character step in as the next president who sets the plans in motion for the final attack. Now that would have been poetic since the aliens were also led by a female! Alien Queen versus Female President of U.S.A. = a scene that I would have loved to watch instead of the stupid ones we saw in the film.
If you want a good film that demonstrates how films benefit from having a diverse cast, watch Arrival. I just watched it 2 weeks ago, which is why it's the first example that came to my mind (I'm sure there are plenty of other great examples). I can't recommend this particular film enough though. Not only is the acting, plot, story-telling and cinematography EXCELLENT, central to the film is the relationship between a mother and her daughter, a dynamic that cannot be replicated even with a father. This is how you become more diverse: have a kick-butt female lead (with solid male supporting characters), and an in-depth exploration of a specific type of female-maternal relationship that is rarely flashed out on screen. Go watch it!And please skip Independence Day: Resurgence. So not worth watching, even on Netflix!
Sunday, September 11, 2016
Another Example of Chinese Patriarchy
My maternal grandmother passed away in October 2015, and we held a Buddhist funeral ritual for her. As dictated by the ritual, each family member sat according to their "rank" and position in the family. I was surprised at how the ranking went.
Top of the chain: eldest grandson of the eldest son of the deceased. Yes, not the son but the grandson! He even has a special title-- "dua soon"/ 大å™
==> Next, the eldest son and his wife of the deceased, followed by the other sons and their wives
==> "Adopted" sons, translated into English as "godsons" (borrowing from Catholicism)
==> Daughters
==> Son-in-laws (husbands of daughters)
==> Grandchildren of the deceased who come from the sons, considered to be å†…å™ or "inside grandchildren." Since these grandchildren are from the sons, they take the surname of deceased and "belong" to the family.
==> Grandchildren from the daughters, considered 外å™/ "outside grandchildren."
==> Great-grandchildren.
[My grandmother lived till 97, and saw the birth of her great-great-grandchildren, which I think is quite a feat!]
In most modern day Singaporean families, this hierarchy isn't a big deal because it has no permanent or day-to-day repercussions. But I was still indignant for my mom and aunts. Even though they were the flesh-and-blood daughters of my grandmother, they were ranked lower than the "adopted" godson. Furthermore, three of my aunts are actually older than my uncle, so in terms of age, they are more senior than him, but because of his gender, he is ranked higher than them.
My mom and aunts weren't upset about being placed after the sons (real and adopted) because . Furthermore, according to Chinese tradition, the sons are expected to care for their parents in the old age. My grandmother lived with my uncle for her entire life, and he and his wife did take good care of her. Hence, no one (including I) was particularly bothered that my uncle ranked higher than my aunts. Sometimes, you just have to let some things go.
Yet, I couldn't help but feel frustration from such archaic traditions. My mother and aunts took better care of my grandmother than her godson did; yet he still ranked higher than all of them. Men always ranked higher, even if they were not as filial. Moreover, a woman's position and rank in the family is completely dependent on her marital status/ husband, and if she was born from a son or daughter.
It is heartening that the traditional Singaporean Chinese mindset of favoring males over females has drastically reduced in recent decades, but hints of Chinese patriarchy still creeps in subtle and silent ways into our culture and everyday lives.
Top of the chain: eldest grandson of the eldest son of the deceased. Yes, not the son but the grandson! He even has a special title-- "dua soon"/ 大å™
==> Next, the eldest son and his wife of the deceased, followed by the other sons and their wives
==> "Adopted" sons, translated into English as "godsons" (borrowing from Catholicism)
==> Daughters
==> Son-in-laws (husbands of daughters)
==> Grandchildren of the deceased who come from the sons, considered to be å†…å™ or "inside grandchildren." Since these grandchildren are from the sons, they take the surname of deceased and "belong" to the family.
==> Grandchildren from the daughters, considered 外å™/ "outside grandchildren."
==> Great-grandchildren.
[My grandmother lived till 97, and saw the birth of her great-great-grandchildren, which I think is quite a feat!]
In most modern day Singaporean families, this hierarchy isn't a big deal because it has no permanent or day-to-day repercussions. But I was still indignant for my mom and aunts. Even though they were the flesh-and-blood daughters of my grandmother, they were ranked lower than the "adopted" godson. Furthermore, three of my aunts are actually older than my uncle, so in terms of age, they are more senior than him, but because of his gender, he is ranked higher than them.
My mom and aunts weren't upset about being placed after the sons (real and adopted) because . Furthermore, according to Chinese tradition, the sons are expected to care for their parents in the old age. My grandmother lived with my uncle for her entire life, and he and his wife did take good care of her. Hence, no one (including I) was particularly bothered that my uncle ranked higher than my aunts. Sometimes, you just have to let some things go.
Yet, I couldn't help but feel frustration from such archaic traditions. My mother and aunts took better care of my grandmother than her godson did; yet he still ranked higher than all of them. Men always ranked higher, even if they were not as filial. Moreover, a woman's position and rank in the family is completely dependent on her marital status/ husband, and if she was born from a son or daughter.
It is heartening that the traditional Singaporean Chinese mindset of favoring males over females has drastically reduced in recent decades, but hints of Chinese patriarchy still creeps in subtle and silent ways into our culture and everyday lives.
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