Fatherhood and Crying Babies

In the same spirit that Dove, the giant beauty products brand, is promoting natural beauty, Thailand's second largest mobile phone provider, DTAC, is also encouraging people to "disconnect" from technology and spend more quality time with those around them. Ironic but hey, it's a win-win for everyone, so kudos to them.

DTAC just released their latest ad a few days ago, titled "The Power of Love," and I absolutely love it! Aside from the cute (albeit crying) baby and it's powerful message about technology, there is a subtle gender message about fatherhood that I think is appropriate and should be promoted.

Enjoy!

P.S. Check out their other ad, "Disconnect to Connect", which can be found HERE.

Women and Priesthood Power

I'm trying to move on from the OW issue, but it seems that God has one more lesson for me, and I feel that I need to share it to (once again) clear up any misconceptions about my Church.

I was asked to substitute as a Sunday School teacher for the next few weeks, and was preparing my lesson about 1 Samuel 14-20. The lesson is really about the friendships between King Saul, David and Jonathan. Yet, somehow I ended up reading the speech given by Dallin H. Oaks in last April's General Conference, titled "The Keys and Authority of the Priesthood" (LINK HERE). Dallin H. Oaks is considered one of the twelve apostles in our times. When I first heard it, I thought, "Okay, nothing new..." However, when I read it again yesterday, I was astonished that I completely missed these passages:

"We are not accustomed to speaking of women having the authority of the priesthood in their Church callings, but what other authority can it be? When a woman- young or old- is set apart to preach the gospel as a full-time missionary, she is given priesthood authority to perform a priesthood function. The same is true when a woman is set apart to function as an officer or teacher in a Church organization under the direction of one who holds the keys of the priesthood...

Whoever exercises priesthood authority should forget about their rights and concentrate on their responsibilities. That is a principle needed in society at large... Latter-day Saints surely recognize that qualifying for exaltation is not a matter of asserting rights but a matter of fulfilling responsibilities.

...

The Lord has directed that only men will be ordained to offices in the priesthood. But as various Church leaders have emphasized, men are not "the priesthood."... The greatest power God has given to His sons cannot be exercised without the companionship of one of His daughters, because only to His daughters has God given the power "to be a creator of bodies... so that God's design and the Great Plan might meet fruition."

Perhaps this is what is tripping people up- it's true that only men are ordained to the offices in the priesthood, meaning that they are ordained to be deacons, priests, bishops, seventy, apostles and prophets, etc., at least in modern days. This is the way the Church functions, and quite frankly, when Jesus Christ was on the earth, this was the way He organized His church too.

But priesthood office does NOT equal priesthood authority/ power. Rather, Elder Oaks teaches that women can also exercise priesthood authority when directed by male leaders to do so via Church callings or as a sister missionary. Male church leaders have priesthood keys to direct the work, but priesthood power and authority can be disseminated to both men and women according to their responsibilities.

*WHOAH*

How many of us heard this? Can he get more explicit than this?

This reminded me another talk given by another apostle, M. Russell Ballard, at the 2013 BYU Education Week, called "Let Us Think Straight." (Elder Oaks quoted part of his speech in his talk too- clearly it's a hallmark speech.)

When men and women go to the temple, they are both endowed with the same power, which by definition is priesthood power. While the authority of the priesthood is directed through priesthood keys, and priesthood keys are held only by worthy men, access to the power and the blessings of the priesthood is available to all of God’s children.
...
Those who have entered the waters of baptism and subsequently received their endowment in the house of the Lord are eligible for rich and wonderful blessings. The endowment is literally a gift of power. All who enter the house of the Lord officiate in the ordinances of the priesthood. This applies to men and women alike.
...
Our Father in Heaven is generous with His power. All men and all women have access to this power for help in our own lives. All who have made sacred covenants with the Lord and who honor those covenants are eligible to receive personal revelation, to be blessed by the ministering of angels, to commune with God, to receive the fulness of the gospel, and, ultimately, to become heirs alongside Jesus Christ of all our Father has.

Once again, here is another apostle stating clearly the relationship between women and the priesthood:
- Women hold priesthood power
- Women are entitled to the same blessings of the priesthood as the men
- However, this also means that women have to bear the same responsibilities as the men in ministering and serving others- sorry, it's not a free gift.

So let's be clear what exactly do we mean when we talk about "ordaining women" to the priesthood.

• If we are talking about ordaining women to priesthood power/ authority, then we do not need this because women already have and exercise it. 
• If we are talking about ordaining women to hold priesthood keys, that's another issue. Both Elder Oaks and Elder Ballard have stated that priesthood keys (and offices) are only to be held by worthy men, which means someone can say, "This still leaves ultimate direction and decision-making in the hands of the men! Preposterous!" 

It's true, but may I quote Elder Ballard again in this same speech when he said, "Brothers and sisters, this matter, like many others, comes down to our faith. Do we believe that this is the Lord’s Church? Do we believe that He has organized it according to His purposes and wisdom? Do we believe that His wisdom far exceeds ours? Do we believe that He has organized His Church in a manner that would be the greatest possible blessing to all of His children, both His sons and His daughters?"

If we say we believe that this is the Lord's Church, led by His living prophets and apostles, then we need to trust that the way the Church is currently set up is appointed, or at the very least, approved, by God. It doesn't seem fair, but we have to trust that only God knows the reasons why He designed the Church hierarchy to be as such.

Let's take that and move on. There are far more important things to focus on then who has ultimate directing keys, because really, at the end of the day, the gospel isn't about fighting over priesthood keys/ authority/ power. The gospel is about the atonement of Jesus Christ, and what we do with our lives to follow Christ and serve others. It is only then that the priesthood can take effect and truly make a difference. 

OW again...

I know, I know. I said that I won't talk about OW except in my last post, and yet, here I am talking about it again. Sorry. It's just that I think it's important that I clear up any misconceptions people have about my church. In one of my very first posts, I wrote that my religion empowered me as a woman. I hope this post partly helps explain why I feel this way, especially with regards to what happened to Kate Kelly.

Yesterday the top Church leaders released a statement clarifying the issue about Kate Kelly's excommunication (the full statement can be found HERE on the official website of the Church)- although they didn't directly refer to it. Subtle... Anyway, I've excerpted the parts that clarifies why people might face disciplinary action within the Church:

We understand that from time to time Church members will have questions about Church doctrine, history or practice. Members are always free to ask such questions and earnestly seek greater understanding. We feel special concern, however, for members who distance themselves from Church doctrine or practice and, by advocacy, encourage others to follow them.

Simply asking questions has never constituted apostasy. Apostasy is repeatedly acting in clear, open, and deliberate public opposition to the Church or its faithful leaders, or persisting, after receiving counsel, in teaching false doctrine. 

Short, simple and BAM!

To me, it's comforting to know that asking questions does not constitute apostasy. I'm sure most everyone has had doubts about the Church one time or another on their spiritual journey, or will be tempted to leave the Church. At least it's true from my personal experience and observations... It thus reassures me that the Church isn't saying that we can't or shouldn't ask questions/ voice doubts.

The test, then, isn't the "questioning" part. Rather, it's our reaction when we receive an answer.

And this is where it can trip people because sometimes, the answer is, "I don't know, and I might have to wait till the next life before I get an answer." I'm not even kidding- because that's what happened to me, and it's hard to hear that.

I think it all goes back to what I wrote in one of my earliest posts. As a feminists, I recognize that the way my Church is organized, and the way authority is disseminated, is patriarchal in nature. However, I am reconciled to this fact, and I sustain (support, listen and obey) these men as my leaders in all things pertaining to religion, morality and gender roles. Therefore, even though I have questions, I still choose to sustain my leaders and comply with their instructions.

And you know what? Strangely enough, even though I might not get the answer I want, I feel at peace, almost as if God is telling me, "Look, you don't need to know this right now. Focus on (xxx) and (yyy) now- these are more important and necessary to your salvation. Answers will come later. Just trust my timing."

Perhaps this is what faith is really all about.

Putting OW into perspective

I feel like I need to write a brief post regarding the recent controversy regarding Kate Kelly's excommunication from the LDS Church. Kelly is the founder of the Ordain Women (OW) organization that has been agitating for female ordination to the priesthood in the Church. It's a thorny issue that has plagued my Facebook wall, and I'm exhausted from seeing posts from friends either defending or criticizing her excommunication. Anyone can google the issue and find blogs/ articles arguing for both sides, so I'm not going to do it here.

As a historian, however, I want to highlight that we have an incomplete excommunication story. We only have Kelly's side of the story, while very little has been issued from her ex-bishop or the disciplinary council explaining their decision (in accordance with church policy... I think).*  As long as we don't have both sides of the story, I think we should refrain from passing judgement (e.g. "Her ex-bishop was right/ wrong!"/ "She was right/ wrong"). We'll probably never know whether the disciplinary council was justified in their actions till the next life. For now, all we can and should do is extend love and hope for reconciliation for both sides.

This issue has caused the headquarters in Salt Lake City to remain in a bind- how should the top leadership respond to what is really a local level concern? Headquarters thus issued two statements that would benefit from more circulation. The first is a 5-page letter from Michael Otterson, managing director of Public Affairs for the Church, who sent it to various blogs for publication . It's a quick read, respectful in tone, and provides much needed insight into how church affairs with regards to women's issues are conducted. The letter published on the Millennial Star blog can be found HERE, while a Deseret News article about the letter is found HERE. The second is another succinct statement issued by another spokeswoman for the Church, Jessica Moody, which is linked HERE.

Now we come to the main purpose of my post. I just came back from a short trip to the Philippines, and attended church there. I did not have access to email or social media while in the Philippines, and returned to an onslaught of postings about Kelly's excommunication. What really struck me was how members in Singapore and the Philippines were NOT talking about this issue, at least in public.** I've engaged in one private conversation about this topic since coming home, but other than that, no one seemed passionate or even interested in talking about this, even when we had our Relief Society lesson about the Oath and Covenant of the Priesthood last week. And my sense in talking to my friends about Ordain Women was that they were quite adamantly against the organization.

The contrast could not have been greater.

And it really put the issue into proper perspective for me. I'm not saying that the OW controversy does not have value or that we can't learn from it. Nor am I saying that all non-North American women are against OW- I'm sure there are a few who have heard about it and might even admit to supporting it. What I'm saying is let's remember that this is a very Western, even North American, issue that has ignited a firestorm there, but hardly sparked the same flames in other parts of the world. By putting the issue into proper perspective, it raises question to the claims of "global sisterhood." Of course I want to see the Relief Society succeed in uniting women all around the world in a common cause for Christ, but being against/ for OW is not going to be it.

There are a lot more other causes/ issues that can do that. Perhaps let's move on and talk about those instead.

*The closest thing to an explanation from Kelly's local church leaders can be found at THIS blog piece- kudos to the writer for pointing out that the basis of Kelly's excommunication was not because she questioned, but because she wilfully defied the counsel of church leaders.
**When I was in the Philippines, the meeting was half-Tagalog, half-English, so they could have talked about it without me knowing, but I highly doubt so.

World's Toughest "Career"

I'm sure many of you have seen this video, "World's Toughest Job":

Which is SO TRUE!

Then, while I was watching THIS VIDEO put out by my church by for Mother's Day under #itwasmom somehow this line struck me as very odd:

"The sticky, sleepless, soul-stretching career (of being a mom)..."

And I thought to myself, "Since when is motherhood a 'career'?"

Now, don't get me wrong. I know that motherhood is a very tough job that is sticky, sleepless and soul-stretching. I'm so grateful for the sacrifices of my own mom.

But the word "career" implies two things:
First, that motherhood can and should be measured in economic terms.
Second, that motherhood is a choice, and that there is an alternative to it. Which makes a lot of sense given that women in developed countries can choose not to have children.

However, this is also where I become dismayed and uncomfortable. Blame it on my LDS upbringing where I learned very conservative concepts about the family, but I strongly believe that motherhood is not simply about justifying it as a worthwhile career choice for women to consider doing. It's not wrong to describe motherhood as a "career" but it's... not quite an appropriate word either. Calling it a "job" or a "career" denigrates its divine purpose, or at least, relegates it to be something less than it was meant to be. Motherhood can be considered a career, but it's also SO MUCH MORE than that.

Unlike an employee, a mother is an essential individual that makes up one of the most fundamental units of society, the family.
Unlike an employee, a mother is indispensable and irreplaceable.
More importantly, unlike an employee, motherhood is a divine calling given to women to help bring about God's eternal plan. There is a sacred purpose to mother- and fatherhood.

Sadly, because society measures a person's worth based purely in economic terms (e.g. "Bill Gates is worth X billions of dollars..."), the worth of a woman is also measured based on these same standards. Hence, "motherhood" needs to be justified as a legitimate "career," and reasons given as to why women should choose to take on this "are-you-out-of-your-mind" job. Or we need to say, "Children are an expensive investment, but the pay-off makes up for it." (How did we get to the point where children are considered "investments?") There is also a gendered double standard of viewing motherhood as a career, but we don't do the same for fatherhood (I could go on, but not here). 

I know most people (and the Church too) recognize that motherhood is more than just a "career," but it's a sad world we live in where something as fundamental and essential as "motherhood" needs to be couched in cold hard economic terms in order for people to consider it worthwhile. Our world really is driven by money isn't it?  

Perhaps this is also why many full-time homemakers (male and female) struggle with self-esteem issues or feel that their lifestyle choice isn't making a difference. It takes a lot of courage to defy the expectations of society, and cling to the fact that you ARE making an indispensable and irreplaceable contribution to society, even if your economic net worth is relatively minuscule. It's even harder for those who come from lower to middle-class families. Unfortunately, we don't live in a society that measures the emotional, mental and social support freely provided by parents, and so these full-time homemakers don't get recognized enough for all they do. 

So even though this is coming after Mother's Day, I want to thank all mothers (full-time homemakers and working moms) who see motherhood as more than just a "career," and who recognize that their worth can't be measured in dollars and cents. Your "job"/ "career" as a mother doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of how vital a role you play in the makeup and building up of society. 

I want to especially recognize my mom for her courage in defying societal expectations to be a full-time homemaker. I will never forget that feeling of security of knowing that when I came home from school everyday, she would be there to greet me. To me, that feeling of security is worth more than all the riches of the world. 

Female Education- It's About Humanity and Basic Human Rights

I am absolutely horrified by the kidnapping of more than 200 Nigerian girls seized from a school last month by the Boko Haram (translated as "Western education is sinful"). You can read the update from the New York Times HERE, which reported that at least 8 more girls have been seized. The goal is to 1) terrorize parents to stop sending their girls to school, and 2) exploit and sell the kidnapped girls.

It makes my blood boil thinking about these atrocities committed in the name of religion. Such abuses (both in terms of the kidnappings, and using religion to justify them) make me absolutely livid.



THIS ARTICLE on the Foreign Policy website is a concise and insightful article about the situation. As the article points out, we are unfortunately still stuck in the "women and children are spoils of war" mentality. Have we not gone past that? Apparently not.
Now, I don't think this is the sole reason why the media has only recently focused more attention on this story, but I do believe it is one reason why it hadn't receive sufficient coverage earlier.
Or sadly, we are a society that has become so numbed by news on war, and more enticed by trivial (and frankly, not as depressing) video clips/ twitters/ social media, that such news doesn't shock us anymore.

What saddens me, however, is that the roots of this "war of terror" on "the West" is so baseless in the very first place. I understand that not everything from the "West" is beneficial. I grew up in Singapore, a fairly Westernized nation compared to many other Asian countries, and have lived in the United States for almost seven years, and still there are certain Western "liberal" concepts and values that I am uncomfortable with. However, my Western education has also been a tremendous source of ideas and information that has broadened my worldview, and challenged me think beyond my mental boundaries. At the very least, it's made me more understanding of people who come from a different set of values and culture.
To say that "Western education is sinful" is to be too extreme and intransigent. And to blame the West for more progressive ideas about educating females? That's a fallacy right there. It's not about "clash of civilizations/ cultures/ religion" when you provide formal education for girls. It's about humanity and basic human rights.

Even if you disagree with such notions about female education, inflicting violence is hardly a viable solution. I can't even imagine the terror felt by the kidnapped girls and their families, and I feel their heartbreak as their chances of rescue grow dimmer everyday.



Praying for the safe return of these girls to their families.

Turning Point

January 2011

The Woodrow Wilson International Center for Scholars

National Geographic photographer Lynsey Addario

presented

Women in Afghanistan

This woman was 12 when she married, and husband beat her so badly, she ran away, only to be caught by her husband who cut off her nose, ears and hair. Thankfully, she was able to later seek help at a women's shelter, and came to the United States for reconstructive surgery.

A 22 year old prison inmate. Her crime? Asking for a divorce from her husband who was 70 years old and paralyzed.

A hospital in Faizabad, a provincial capital. Afghan doctors, nurses and midwives, trained in Russia and Kabul, work to deliver twins even in sub-par hospital conditions.

After years of abuse, Afghan women are beginning to fight back and reclaim their humanity. 

Sadly, women (and men and children) in other countries, like Darfur, are still ravaged by war.

Burning of villages. Severe malnutrition. 

I sat there, stunned and speechless, as I felt my heart break into pieces. 

Why was this even happening? How can people be so cruel? How did we descend to this point? 

This was my turning point, my awakening.

Why am I a feminist? Because of these images.