#MeToo Campaign: Why We Speak Out

I served a mission for my church in Taipei, Taiwan, from 2007 to 2009. In the last few months of my mission, I was sent to Taoyuan, a city in the northwestern part of the island. My companion and I were cycling home one night when I stopped at a red light. As was my habit, I turned to the person next to me and began talking to him about my faith. It was a man on a bicycle who had cycled in front of me, but I had caught up to him at the red light. We spoke briefly and I gave him a pamphlet before the light turned green, and we parted.

After cycling a minute or so, I turned to see if my companion was behind me, and noticed the same man following us. Call it the prompting of the Spirit or personal intuition, but something felt "off." I pulled to the side to see what he would do. Sure enough, he stopped a few meters behind my companion and I, and pretended not to see us. Not knowing what to do, we continued cycling, hoping that we were mistaken. We had not cycled far when I turned around, and discovered that he was on our tail again. I pulled over again, and he did the same thing.

This picture was taken a few months after the incident,
at the parking lot of my apartment complex in Taoyuan.
The brightness of the picture is due to the flash of the camera,

I was fearful at this point. Our apartment complex was in a deserted area, with almost no lighting at the parking lot where we parked our bikes (see picture on right). We were two young and unarmed females, and were already tired from a long day of work. If the man had pulled a weapon on us, I think even having a companion would not have helped. But even if nothing happened, the anxiety from being stalked was genuine and gripping.

Not knowing what to do, I pulled over, and my companion and I decided to call my District Leader (the missionary Elder in charge of us). While on the phone, I noticed that the man finally cycled past us, as if he knew that we were calling for backup. I told my District Leader about what happened, and that the man had cycled away. He told us to call him again if we saw the man.

We began the journey home again. My eyes kept darting around, looking for the man. We never saw him again, but the damage was done. I could not shake off that feeling of fear, especially when we turned into the deserted street where our apartment building was. We quickly locked the door, and that's when I finally sighed in relief. My District Leader also called us soon after to make sure that we had arrived home safely, and I was happy to report that we were okay.

As I reflect back on this incident, I can't help but make the following observations:
- Having a mission companion was a blessing, even if I struggled with the rule to be stay with her (and all my other companions) 24/7.
- I'm grateful that my companion and District Leader believed me. They didn't question my judgment, but instead asked how they could help.
- I was dressed as a missionary, which at that point of time, meant that I had to wear blouses with sleeves, and skirts that came to mid-calf. I assure you that when I talked to the man, we only spoke of religion. No flirting, no touching, no revealing or sexy clothing, nada. And yet, he still stalked my companion and I. It is true that sexual assailants can hurt anyone, regardless of their clothing or behavior.

My mission district when the incident occurred. Standing in the
 front row is my district leader, Elder Liu, me, and my companion, Sister Shi. 

In the past few days, many women have shared their stories/ experiences of being sexual harassed and assaulted as part of the #MeToo campaign. [For more information on the #MeToo campaign, see this link: http://bit.ly/2gw2hWf. Surprise surprise, it was started way back in 2007, before social media was a "thing."]

To be honest, when the campaign exploded on social media, I was wary of it, not because I didn't think it was important to raise awareness that it is a prevalent societal problem, but because it is hard to differentiate when people are just throwing around this hashtag to be part of the "in" crowd. After reading people's thoughts, stories, feedback, and push back over the past few days, I think such posts are beneficial if we understand that:

1) The #metoo campaign as is currently going around on social media (who knows how it will evolve?) is about raising awareness and solidarity, and letting others, especially women, know that they are not alone in experiencing sexual harassment and assault.

2) It is NOT going to solve the problem or change societal behavior, but speaking out and raising awareness is always the first step. Changing behavior...now that is another issue for another post.

3) It is helpful if we share our stories/ experiences of being sexually attacked, on condition that we feel emotionally and mentally comfortable with that. If you are still struggling from a sexual attack, you have zero obligation to share your experience. Don't feel as if you have to or must do so.

But sharing can be helpful because it raises awareness for everyone to know what constitutes sexual harassment and assault. There are people who do not think that so-called "innocent" gestures are considered harassment/ assault, such as cat-calling someone. But the more we let others know that these actions are a form of harassment/ assault, the more everyone in our social media circles are better informed, and thus held culpable for their actions.

Furthermore, reading these stories can help others recognize when they have been harassed/ assaulted, but didn't realize, recognize, or remember it. When the #MeToo campaign took off a few days ago, I tried to think of an instance when I was sexually harassed, but came up blank. Perhaps my mind had wiped away that traumatizing experience from my memory? Then last night, when I read one of my friend's post on Facebook about her sexual assault experience, it jolted back my memory of what happened on my mission. Her experience wasn't even similar to mine, and yet, it helped me remember.

4) How people react to such stories is PIVOTAL, especially the men. I've read countless posts from female friends who shared how they were sexually attacked by a man, and how grateful they were to their male friends who believed their story and confronted their attacker. Of course women can confront their assailants by themselves, but it provides much comfort and strength when men (and other women) come forward and say, "I believe you, and I want to help."

5) Victim blaming is wrong. Period. As seen from my own experience, you can be wearing the most modest and gaudy clothing (I shudder when I see pictures of my mission clothes), and there will still be men who will sexually harass/ assault women. I get the argument about modest clothing, and I agree that modest clothing contributes to an environment that promotes modesty and decency in thought and behavior. However, even if a woman walks down a street naked, no person has the right to attack her or say, "She deserved it." Also, there are victims of rape who freeze up, or give up the struggle and submit to the assault. This does not then make it their fault. Blaming a rape victim for submitting to their rape is akin to saying a human deserved to die when he/she froze during a tiger/ lion/ [insert predatory animal] attack. Rape victims just want to survive, and freezing up or submitting is sometimes the only way they can.

6) Moving forward, we need to do more than just let this be another social media campaign which patters away. I can already see people moving on to the next hot topic, and that's fine, but hopefully we have learned something, and will do something in the future if we see a person harassed/ assaulted in the future.